Have you ever started a new way of eating? Or working out? Have you failed? Have you started and decided to stop because you missed a day, or a meal or ate a treat when you weren’t supposed to? Have you accomplished SO much in a day, only to look back and feel like absolutely nothing actually got done? Do you ever feel like your day has totally failed because you’ve got nothing to show for anything you’ve accomplished? Let me tell you a story.
My friend invited me over to her house the other day so I could pick raspberries. She had told me that her raspberry bushes were exploding with ripe raspberries. She’d already made jam, frozen some, had some in the fridge, and there were still more. The next day I decided to head over there once we got the kids settled into bed (I make my kids go to sleep before dark in the summer … I have to for my own insanity).
As we picked we got talking about our days, and she started telling me all she’d done. She’d made several jars of raspberry jam that morning, mopped the floor, cleaned and scrubbed the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen, and taken care of 5 kids through it all. She mentioned how there was nothing to show for any of it though because the kitchen was a mess again, and the kids weren’t getting bathed that night, among a few other things.
I had to remind her that she’d done so much though! She’d kept 5 people happy and alive all day! That’s always a HUGE accomplishment. Even if things weren’t perfectly clean any more, it’d gotten done. Plus making jam!?! Hello, awesome!
As women (I think especially), we are so good about beating ourselves up! So, dang good at it! What the heck?? I have a friend who mentioned once that most of the time we’d NEVER, EVER talk to other people or say to other people what we say to ourselves. Yet, for some unknown reason, it’s totally okay for us to bash on ourselves. How can we try to stop ourselves from doing that?
5 Way to Stop Beating Yourself Up:
1. Look at yourself in the mirror. Really, LOOK at yourself. Look into your own eyes. What is there? Don’t look at those eyes and say all mean things. Look at them and compliment yourself. Tell yourself that you matter, and someone needs you, or that you’re awesome at something. Do this often. It’s amazing how looking at yourself and seeing positive things can change your self pain relief talk through out the day. Learn to love yourself – faults and all.
2. Find the awesome things you did during your day. If all it seems you did was finish all your work hours, or kept all your kids alive, or you made dinner, HOORAY! Celebrate that. Expectations don’t always have to be the same every single day. Some days, doing anything is awesome. Did you make dinner? Vacuum? Go to the store? Whatever it is, acknowledge that at least something got done, and even if if was less than you hoped, it was still something!
3. Instead of comparing yourself, find something great about the “other” person, and something great about you. You may not be exactly like your BFF, or the other mom at the park who seems to have it all together (although we know she doesn’t), but that’s so happy that your’e not like her! We all have a variety things that make us who we are. We can’t all be great at housekeeping, or playing with our kids, or doing crafts, or decorating our houses just like Pinterest shows us we should be. That’s totally okay though, and in fact, it’s awesome.
4. Spend time serving. This may seem weird, but it’s so helpful. Look outside yourself, and find someone that you can help. It may be one of your kids, or your husband, or your friend, or your friends kid, or a neighbor. There are so many options. It could even just be someone at the grocery store, it may be as simple as sitting next to your child and letting them know that you love them and you’re grateful for the person they are.Just keep an open mind and heart and see who comes into your life needing a little something extra and follow any good gut feeling you may have. It’ll change your attitude when you know you’ve lightened someone else’s load.
5. Make up your mind to be happy. Life isn’t perfect. It’s like that for every single person. Every single one. They may want you to think life is happy all the time, but everyone struggles. Our life is what we make of it. If we’re constantly beating ourselves up for our shortcomings, we’re going to see things in a negative light. If we make the effort to see our life in a fuller, positive light, our life will reflect that. We will be able to make more of a difference in ourselves and others.
What are things that help you to see life in a better light, and stop beating yourself up?