In the last several months I have had several friends who have lost a baby. Not just having a miscarriage, but having to deliver their sweet little babies between 17-22 weeks, or even later. It’s so heartbreaking to me. I have never experienced that in any way – ever. It’s something that literally makes my heart hurt for them. It brings tears to my eyes, and a desire to just help them. I try to help in the ways I feel guided to do so, and sometimes it may and sometimes it may not, I don’t know.
How do we have sympathy and empathy that is great enough for situations that are so unrelatable, so out of our reach of understanding? I don’t think we’re supposed to honestly. I think sometimes we have to admit our inability to really understand. It’s at times when we don’t understand someone else’s pain that we must turn to the Lord to know what we can do to let them know we love and care for them, and in turn we can hope that through us, they feel the LOVE of the acts and prayers and words that are given.
Sometimes my heart aches to be able to serve people around me in a fully capacity than I really know how to. I haven’t figured out if that’s super weird or not, but sometimes the ache in me brings me to tears because I don’t know what to do, or how to do it, or who needs me. Then every once in a while, I feel a push to help someone. To drop off cookies, with a note, or to message them, or just stop by and let them know I was thinking about them.
Today as I talked with a friend about some of our friends who have had to hold their sweet little baby’s in their arms without ever getting the chance to know them, I felt totally helpless. Completely. I hate that. Today was a long day for me. It was a long evening. It was a lot of fighting, and putting kids to bed, and re-putting kids to bed, and even re-putting the same kids to bed for the 4th or 5th or 6th time. Slowly as more of my kids went to their rooms, said prayers, cuddled up in their beds to get warm, the house became quiet. It was calm.
I walked down my stairs and thought about how nice the quiet was. I also thought about how nice the laughing, playing, pretend phone calls, the baby rocking, the screaming, the yelling, the fighting, etc that happens today was. How nice it always is. Always. My head, and my emotions, and my sanity may not always be grateful for it, but my heart is always, always grateful.
To my friends that may read this who have lost a sweet baby, please know that I pray for you. My heart aches for you – even if I don’t understand your ache, and even though my mother heart can’t even imagine what you’ve been through or are going through, my heart and soul know that it’d be awful, so they hurt for you. My meager offerings of treats, or a simple note, or a simple gift, or a hug, or a simple dinner have been given with a lot of thought, and a lot of meaning – even if it didn’t seem like it. I hope you know that.
I can’t leave my posting today without adding this amazing video. While it doesn’t necessarily directly relate to my post, it relates to the season, to Christ, and the beginning of His time here on Earth – where He would suffer so He could more fully understand and know each one of us and all we go through on a very, very real level.