Tag Archives: Womanhood

Yesterday, Today and Forever

March 23, 2015

I’ve been really thoughtful lately about how to better my blog, and how to really help other people through my blog.  I think posting fun ideas is great, but I want this to be a space that can help lift and inspire other people.  

I’ve had the opportunity to read a new book called,Yesterday, Today, and Forever by Elder M. Russell Ballard.  I have loved this book more than I even expected to.  I’ve really needed some of the words that he talks about and I have felt genuinely inspired to go in certain directions with certain aspects of my life. 

Yesterday, Today, and Forever-March 2015

I have also just been uplifted and felt the love the Lord has for me as I’ve read.  I think sometimes we all need that reminder.  We need to know we’re loved and remembered and that someone is there that understand and knows us.  It’s nice to be reminded.  Sometimes as a mom I feel like everything I do around the house and for the kids is just automatically expected of me, and no one really notices or cares if it gets done (although, they would if it DIDN’T get done, lol).  Sometimes picking up the scriptures or an inspiring book and reading words that touch our hearts and our spirits is just what we need to keep moving, to keep going and to keep doing the dishes, the laundry, and making dinner that no one likes (again!).  

Elder Ballard says: “Now, finally, I turn again to you dear sisters, you who have such a profound, innate spiritual ability to hear the voice of the Good Shepard.  I pray that you will sleeping aids never wonder again if you have worth in the sight of the Lord and to those He has called to preside in the Church for a season.  We love.  We cherish you.  We respect you.  We need you.  We want you to anticipate fully in the work of salvation.”  He goes on to say, “More than ever before we need women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity, as the Relief Society declaration proclaims.  We need women who can hear and will respond to the voice of the Lord, women who at all costs will defend and protect the family and the Church.  We need women who rejoice in their womanhood and have a spiritual confirmation of their identity, their value, and their eternal destiny.  Above all, we need women who will stand up for truth and righteousness, decry evil at every turn, and simply say, ‘Lord, here am I, send me.'”

I found those words so powerful!  Am I doing that?  If I am, how?!?  What more can I do to be a woman in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who can help life and inspire others?  How can I better share my testimony and the gospel?  What am I doing daily to reach those goals and strengthen various aspects of my life that need strengthening?  

The entire book is filled with various topics and discussion and words of wonderful wisdom.  I hope you’ll take time to read this book.  It really is wonderful and so helpful in bringing us closer to the Lord in the various ways that we all need.


October 14, 2013

Are you Fierce Collective Cleaver Girls
You are too!  You just have to realize it, and recognize it.  Every one of us is Fierce in our own way.  What does Fierce mean to you?  To me … it means strength, and bravery, and doing something awesome and hard.
How are you FIERCE?!  Can I tell you about a time that I had to be fierce?  I’ve shared a little bit about what happened to my almost 4 year old, but, I didn’t really tell about how it has changed me, how it’s shaped me, and my family.  How it’s made me Fierce, and how I had to be Fierce in the moments.

When my little boy Jack was 9 days old, we were sitting at home and my husband and I noticed that he was acting unusual.  He wasn’t eating, and he was crying (with like a catch up breath, like when you’ve been crying really hard), and wouldn’t really stop.  Or he’d finally stop, we’d lay him down and he’d start again.  All the sudden his mouth was dropping slightly, and so was his eye.  After monitoring his breathing we realized that we needed to call the on-call nurse for the pediatrician office.  She told us that we needed to get him to the ER immediately.  Through a miracle, we were able to find a neighbor who was totally available and willing to help us at 10:30 PM while my husband and I took the baby to the ER.  My parents would come watch the kids ASAP, but they were 40 minutes away.  I sobbed the entire drive wondering what I’d done wrong, and praying that he’d be okay, that the doctors would figure it out.

When we got to the ER, his oxygen levels were fine.  That was weird.  That, and the drooping of his face wasn’t adding up.  He was admitted to the Pedi unit for testing.  A spinal tap revealed a bit of blood, so they took him in for a CAT scan.  Our little boy returned much sooner than we’d been prepped for, since there wasn’t the usual Friday night line.  The doctor came in and gave us the news.  There was a blood clot in my tiny baby’s brain.  It was 1/4 the size of his brain.  They’d be life flighting his up to the nearest Children’s Hospital.  The helicopter had already been called and would be there in 20-30 minutes.  This news was given to us at 3:30 AM — it’d been a long night, with a lot of  crying.  I couldn’t even cry when I heard the news.  It was just shock and not understanding what was happening.  A sweet, sweet nurse asked if we’d like to hold him.  She got permission from the doctor to let us do so.  It was such a tender moment. It was a fierce moment too though … I had to be brave.  I had to be faithful.  I had to press on for my baby.

We watched him fly off, and we drove to tell the other kids.  Then we drove to the hospital (about 1 hour away).  After another CT scan, and MRI, the doctor came in and told us that his gut was telling him to do surgery.  He’d previously told us he didn’t like to do brain surgery on babies so little, but that he felt like he needed to for our baby.  Twelve hours after he was diagnosed, he was in the OR.  Surgery was 3 hours, and went great.  My baby was fierce!  So so fierce.

Best case we were told he’d be released on day 7 post-op.  Know what?  He was released on day 8 post-op.  While in post-op I had to be fierce for my other little kids (ages 4,2,1) while they were shuffled between friends, neighbors, and family.  They didn’t totally understand, and I had to be happy and play and give them the little bits of time they got with me.  It was so hard … but WE CAN ALL DO HARD THINGS!  We can ALL be fierce when the unexpected happens.

Almost 4 years later, you’d NEVER know that anything happened to my little boy.  There were lots of specialists to visit, doctors to see, exams to be checked those first 9 months.  He still sees a pediatric stroke specialist (yep, he had a stroke at 9 days old) once a year to make sure, and his local pedi always keeps an eye out and does different tests then he does with the other kids … but know what?  Nothing is wrong with him.  He is my miracle.  He is my reminder of being FIERCE, and HOW to do it and that I CAN do hard things!

Are you Fierce?

Having gone through a traumatic experience like that has really made me so much more empathetic.  It’s helped me to appreciate every day I get to have with all of my kids.  It’s helped me remember that even the every day mundane things can be special and important – especially when they’re not there for a little while.  It’s taught me to love more fully and appreciate the little moments that come.  Always say I love you.  It’s essential.

Being a mom is hard!  Being a mom is being FIERCE!  We need to remember to love each other more and judge each other less.  We all have hard things.  We all have different hard things.  We are all Fierce in our own ways in our own lives!

When have you been Fierce? Want to help Clever Girls Collective support women and girls to be Fierce? Visit www.clevergirlscollective.com/fiercefund to learn more about this girl-power project! We’d love your help in selecting the Fierce Fund grant winner. Just click and vote! www.clevergirlscollective.com/fiercefund


How to do it all … or Not!

June 21, 2013
How to do it All ... or Not.

Ever wonder how to do it all?  Or how your neighbor seems to?  I often get asked “How do you do it?”  or “I just don’t know how you do it!”  I’ve learned something though. We ALL do “it”.  We all do what is placed in front of us.  No matter what “it” is, no matter how hard “it” is, we struggle, we are brave, sometimes we are weak, and feel defeated.  But we do “it”.  We pick ourselves up and keep going.  Sometimes it’s just trying again, or keeping at something like the same ol’ mom routine day in and day that that is wonderful and difficult all at the same time.  When we are driven by something bigger than ourselves, we can always try again.  We may fail again, but we can try as many times as we need to.
I would like to share with you how a recent trip to Walmart went.

Sometimes I just have to get out of the house.  I have errands to run and things to prepare for, and some days I just have to get out for my own sanity.  Taking 5 kids (#2 was visiting my in-laws for a couple days) any where is never easy.  Taking any number of kids anywhere isn’t always easy for that matter.

All of my kids were newly out of school for summer.  We were gearing up for the Science Birthday Party.  I needed to get several things.  There are days when my kids do really well in the store, and other days, when they just do not do well.  Don’t we all struggle with that sometimes though, lol.

As we worked our way through out the store, sometimes searching for something without finding it only to have to re-search the same isle several times to either come up with nothing or finally find what I couldn’t see, the kids were becoming more restless as time went on.

My baby really hates the cart.  Like, a LOT!  She will only sit in a cart without SCREAMING for 5 minutes, on a good day.  She hates it.  On this particular trip, I’d given my 8 year old the responsibility to feed her some cereal that I’d brought along with us, as we walked, so she’d be content just a little bit longer.  He’d get distracted easily by my 2 year old and 3 year old  who decided that they should be super “funny” and run away together up and down the isle and back again.  All the while running around/through/into people. My 8 year old would try to help the little kids catch up to where we were and get upset with them when they weren’t close enough.  I finally realized he honest to goodness thought I’d just leave them there in the middle of the store to be lost.  Sigh.  I had to stop and explain to him that I hadn’t lost them up to that point, and that I wasn’t planning to lose them today either.  My 5 year old was just staying close and holding onto the cart.

As we got to the isle that supposedly had 3 oz plastic little containers, I told my kids to stay close, and to NOT play in the giant area of toilet paper/paper towels (do your kids always have to go hide in that area when you go to Walmart??  Mine can never obey when we talk about it.  Sigh.  Some times are too tempting I guess).  They just had to play and be crazy, and of course there had to be way too many people in the isle to actually look properly for what I needed and watch the kids, and hold the baby (because by then she was done eating, done with the cart, done shopping, and probably tired … or maybe that was just me …).  I didn’t find those containers.  I gave up after several minutes, and went to look for other things I still needed.

In the mists of all this craziness, I’m sure we had at least 2 bathroom trips, which are always too long, and never when we’re near the bathroom.  Not to mention public restrooms are just not my favorite. I felt like we had become a circus show.  The problem was, I HAD to get a few things then, and I couldn’t just up and leave (well, I could have, but I really needed a few things right then).  However, we survived the trouble makers running, the baby screaming, the bathroom trips, the worrisome older brother, and all the other people that were there to stare on.

I don’t remember what check out was like.  I was probably just a daze and a rush to get out of there all at the same time.  I do remember that my 2 and 3 year old were NOT staying with me.  As a leave a store, that is just not an option.  I had to put them both in the basket of the cart.  They were not excited about that at ALL!  I tried to focus on getting to my car, so I wouldn’t see the people looking, whispering, pointing at my yelling son saying he wanted to walk (aka run around as far away from me as he could get away with).

I got to the car.  They all climbed in.  We had a mini wrestling match to get kids buckled.  It finally got done. The cart got emptied, and I climbed into the front seat and had to cry.  Only for a moment, but I had to.  I felt so defeated and so alone.  My kids had looked forward to our next stop since we usually get a free cookie, however, I didn’t have the emotional strength to go anywhere else.  There were more tears and whining that followed that announcement.  I didn’t care at that point.  I just had to get home.  I had to get the kids doing something else and getting their energy out.  I needed a moment to just sit.  I needed to put the baby down for a nap.

Know what though?  The next morning, I had the kids all get dressed an we went out again.  I needed to get a few things I didn’t find at Walmart.  Some how I mustered the energy to try again.  That day was much more successful in terms of kids being good at the store.  We still had kids running around, still had bathroom trips, but it was just a better time of day.

It’s those times when we can pick ourselves back up (even if it’s hours, days, weeks, months) and try again.  We all do things differently, and we all do different things.  We all have challenges, and some seem harder than others.  It’s how we endure, and how we keep on keepin’ on.  Sometimes, it’s just fakin’ it ’til we make it.  🙂  Don’t give up on yourself.  Believe in what you are and who you are and the potential that you have. Remember, even though it seems like there are some who can do “it” all, none of us do.  None of us can do everything that it seems like we are doing.  We have strengths and weakness and wonderful things and hard things.